


Broken Frame

by Justcallmesarah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Big Sister Anna, Dean doesn't understand why he likes a dude, Destiel endgame, Drinking, Drug-Induced Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Castiel, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family, First Relationship, Fluff, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm bad at writing in general, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealous Dean, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Meg is a bitch, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Dean Winchester, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, Sex, Sexual Confusion, Sexuality Crisis, Supportive Dean, Underage Drinking, evil meg, tags not in order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-08-20 03:51:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justcallmesarah/pseuds/Justcallmesarah
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel Shurley have been friends since the beginning of Freshmen year. Now, it's Sophomore year and Dean is realizing something he knows he shouldn't.A.) He may have feelings for his best friend.B.) This is bad, cause he's a dude.C.) This dude is also in a relationship.D.) A relationship, with a girl.But Dean also can't help thinking.A.) Who the hell cares?B.) His girlfriend is a bitch.





	1. Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't even know what this is. I've never written an AU, I've never written for Supernatural, and I've never written a fanfic that I've posted. This first one here is just for feed back and then I'll decide if I should post more or not. Also, I can't get the format the way I want. It's all clumped together, so if anyone knows how to fix that, it'd be appreciated. I have tried editing and spacing out paragraphs, but it's not working. Thank you in advance!

High school, for most people, seems like hell. For Dean Winchester it was pretty annoying. He was in the 10th grade. He had friends, he had his little brother, he had a house, and he even had a car. But for some reason he felt like things where missing. He didn't know what. He couldn't pinpoint it. He just thought that there was a hole where something should be, but he didn't know what.  
He thought about this now as he looked around his table at lunch with all his friends. Charlie was laughing at something, presumably nerdy. Kevin was shaking his head at whatever she had said, Benny snickered, Jo snorted and then continued eating. Castiel, though, looked like he was also in deep thought about something. Castiel was sitting in his usual seat where he always sat, beside Dean. This has been where he sat since the third day of freshmen year and Dean noticed he was sitting by no one and then forced him over by his friends. It was really awkward at first, admittedly.  
Castiel didn't want to talk to anyone, and they all thought he was kinda weird. Dean talked to him though Dean had a few classes with him and he made sure to always sat by him so that he wasn't alone. Slowly Castiel became used to Dean, and then Charlie, and then Kevin, and then Jo, and then Benny. He was very shy, but they learned he was funny. He was smart, and bright. Not to mention he was gorgeous. Not that it mattered. It just made talking to him slightly more fun for Dean.  
Dean nudged Castiel's shoulder.  
“What's up, Cas?” Dean asked because of the thoughtful look on his friends face. He looked slightly stressed as he looked up from where he was staring at the table and looked at Dean.  
“Oh, I'm just thinking.” He informed Dean the obvious. Dean snorted.  
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. I could see that.” Dean chuckled lightly. “What are you thinking about?”  
“...Meg” Castiel mumbled and looked back down at the table. Dean sighed. Meg was Castiel's girlfriend. She was kinda a bitch, if Dean was honest. She and Castiel where together since the middle of last year. Of course, at fourteen 'together' is limited to texting and maybe seeing each other at school. They soon started visiting each others houses and went on walks together. They were fairly close, except that Meg was a complete bitch whilst Castiel was a gentleman. Of course, Castiel refused to see it that way. All of their friends knew it though. Dean couldn't understand why Castiel liked her some much. He thought she was an annoying whore whose father gave her anything she wanted.  
“What's going on now?” Dean asked quietly hoping to keep the others out of the conversation and they could continue talking about some stupid video game.  
Castiel glared at Dean for a moment, but then his face softened. Dean knew that they got into stupid pointless fights all the time. Mostly because something will happen and Castiel can't talk to her for over and hour and she gets upset, or because Castiel is friends with Charlie and Jo, even if Charlie is lesbian and Jo has made it perfectly clear she doesn't want some 'stupid pointless relationship that won't last until adulthood' as she put it. Dean could only guess what stupid thing they were fighting about now.  
“It's nothing, really.” Castiel tried to assure Dean, but he didn't fool him. Castiel didn't sound like it was nothing. He sounded like something was defiantly up.  
“Well you shou-” Dean began but was cut off by the bell. He frowned looking down at his food he hardly touched, then frowned at Castiel's completely untouched food, before he frowned at Castiel who was putting on his book bag and beginning to stand up.  
“You text me about it, okay?” Dean tried to yell over the loud noise of the cafeteria. Castiel glanced up at his slightly taller friend.  
“Yeah, okay” he mumbled, not sounding too sure. He turned and then began walking towards what ever class he had next.  
Dean did the same and wondered what could possibly of happened to make Castiel not even want to talk to him.  
_____________________________

Castiel normally always told Dean what was on his mind. For some reason though he didn't know how to bring this one up. He didn't know where he would start. How he would say it.  
His girlfriend had always been pretty straight forward, verbally. Castiel figured he must have liked that because he was the same way. But sometimes the things she said was incredibly, ridiculously, terrifying.  
They had done little things. They've gone on dates, been to each others houses, they had been on walks and they talked frequently. They kissed a lot, and even made out. He could understand where she was coming from when she asked him. He just didn't know how to respond or what to do. Maybe that's why he should talk to Dean. Dean could help him, he always had.  
They really did have a good relationship. Castiel would always be thankful for Dean pushing him outside his comfort zone. Without Dean doing that then he would have never made any of the amazing friends he has now and he definitely would not have a girlfriend. He owed Dean so much. The least he could do is tell him what was wrong.  
Castiel pulled out his phone to text Dean, making sure first that his teacher was busy. 

Cas: Maybe you could come over, or I could go over to your place?

He slipped his phone back in his pocket so he wouldn't get in trouble with his teacher. He found himself, as he always does after he sends that kind of text to Dean, anxious for the answer and no longer paying attention in class.  
What if Dean changed his mind? What if he doesn't care? No, that wouldn't make since, then he wouldn't have made all the effort to be my friend. But, maybe he was making all that up, trying to be nice. That doesn't make much since either.  
Castiel's mind could explode by simply over thinking everything. His phone buzzed after what felt like the whole class period later. He glanced at the clock. It had only been two minutes. He glanced towards the teacher, staring at her own phone at her desk.  
He whipped out his phone and read the message under the desk

Dean: Sure, lets go to yours

Castiel sighed in relief. 

Cas: let's*

Dean: Dont make me hit you

Castiel snickered, before he put his phone away.


	2. You Do You, Boo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean talks with Castiel about what has been bothering him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer one, because I like longer chapters as a reader. Tell me if you would rather have shorter ones like the first or longer ones like this one!!  
> Sorry this took so long! I had the flu and I'm just generally lazy. Thank you to all the commenters because this chapter would not have been posted without you. I need lots of encouragement.  
> Also, I feel like I should let you know there is grown up talk and it's not going away. This fiction is for those of you who can handle serious topics. It's not always going to be serious, but I thought I'd let you know ahead of time!  
> All mistakes are mine because I'm so talented all I do is mess up. Sorry if it's confusing, please let me know so I can edit and try and make it understandable because I suck.

Castiel did what he always did when he was going somewhere after school with Dean. He put all of his stuff in his book bag and then went to the parking lot. He had done this so many times that he knew exactly where Dean's assigned parking spot was. 

He walked right towards the beautiful black car. He saw Dean was not inside yet, and leaned against the passenger door to wait for his best friend.  
_____________________________

 

Dean stuffed his things into his book back and then hurried out the door. His last class was far away from where the school had assigned his parking spot, much to his disappointment. He supposed it was pretty close to his first hour class, but he didn't want to get to school quickly. He wanted to leave quickly. 

Dean finally made it to the parking lot after trudging through the enormous school and through seas of people. He smiled brightly when he saw Cas already there waiting for him. The sun was beating down on him and making beautiful blue eyes glow even more. 

Dean stopped walking for a split second. That was a really weird thought to have. 

“Heya, Cas!” He called to get his friends attention. Castiel looked up from where he was staring at the ground, once again in deep thought. 

“Hello, Dean.” he greeted, watching Dean walk up to the impala and unlock it. Dean pulled his door open and went to sit down, but stopped mid sitting position and looked over the hood at Castiel.

“Uh, Cas, get in.” 

“Oh, yes, sorry.” Castiel apologized opening his own door and sliding in next to Dean.

Dean smiled again at Cas. “Man, something must really be on your mind.” He stated the obvious, a fact that both boys knew. 

“Sorry.” Castiel mumbled an apology again, looking at his lap. Dean frowned. 

“Cas, it's fine. It happens. I don't know why you're apologizing.” He started up the car and begun the traffic of other student drivers out of the school parking lot. 

Castiel didn't reply, but that was fine. Dean started the route to Castiel's house, knowing it by heart. 

Dean loved going to Castiel's house. Castiel's father, Chuck Shurley, was fun. He wrote books and owned a chain of book stores. He let his kids do basically what they wanted as long as they didn't get into trouble. He also clearly cared for his children. 

Castiel also lived with his Aunt Amara. She was pretty great (and admittedly hot, if Dean was honest. He found himself staring at her more than he should). She was a surgeon at the local hospital. She also cared about the kids, her niece and nephews. 

Castiel lived with three siblings. His older brother, Gabriel. Gabriel was 20 years old and was in the local community collage right now. He wasn't always home for that reason, but Castiel got to see him enough. Dean really didn't like Gabriel when he first met him. He thought, okay he still does, that he was a jerk. But a fun jerk, who gave Dean candy. Giving Dean candy was the best way to make him like you. 

His older sister (also hot) was present too. She was 17 and a senior at their high school. She was supposed to be in her junior year, just a year in front of Castiel, but she skipped the eighth grade. She was incredibly smart. It almost reminded Dean of Sam, who was ridiculously smart for a twelve year old. She was nice and loved her siblings.

Next was Castiel's little brother, Alphy. This kid was eight, and freaking adorable. He was in the third grade, and also pretty smart. Seems the whole family was. Gabriel would be, if he tried. Like Dean himself, he would probably be brilliant if he cared. 

They lived in a fairly large house. There was a large room for every child, for Chuck and Amara, and a guest room. There was an office for Chuck to write in. There was a large kitchen, dinning room, living room, din, and two bath rooms downstairs, and two upstairs. A spacious yard, with an actual white fucking picket fence. It was a nice house. Dean's definitely wasn't comparable. 

It would have been a perfect family, if there was a mother. 

Dean pulled into the drive way in front of the garage, shifting and moving his baby into park. He looked up at the large house that he desperately adored. 

“Ok, well, we going in or what?” Dean glanced over at Castiel who was still looking at his lap. At Dean's words he brought his head up to look at Dean.

“I suppose. We probably shouldn't just sit out here.” Castiel opened his door, and Dean followed his lead and then continued to do so by walking behind Castiel and to the front door.

“Do you want something to eat?” Castiel asked immediately, as he normally did when Dean came over. Dean replied how he normally did when he was asked. 

“Sure, only if it's no problem.” He grinned at Castiel. Castiel did a small smile back. Dean really just wanted to know what was bothering his friend so much. He was always quiet but for some reason this was just strange. Like the air around Castiel was tense. 

Castiel headed towards his kitchen and looked around at all the many cabinets.

Cas sighed. “Just grab what you want, I don't think anyone will care.” He opened a cabinet while Dean peered inside from behind him.

“That'll work!” Dean informed Castiel reaching for a box of Cheese-Itz Castiel then turned and walked the familiar path to the staircase and presumably his bedroom. Dean fallowed once again right behind Castiel all the way up the stairs with one hand holding the box and the other on the perfectly polished wooden railing. He wondered, as he always did, if his shoes were going to ruin the wooden paneled flooring. He knew that they wouldn't but that is kinda what poor people shoes did.

Castiel walked into his bedroom and continued to stand by the door until Dean entered past him and the he closed the door. Castiel then walked over to where Dean had sat on his bed.

One thing that Dean loved was how big Castiel's room was. He had his full bed in the middle against the wall, always neatly made, there were white blinds over the big windows that you could see the out of the front of the house with, a desk in between those windows. He had a computer and on the other side of the room was two bookshelves. It was very easy for Castiel to get all the books he wanted with his fathers book company. There was also a rug in his room. Dean could never get over how amazing this room was. 

He supposed though, that to other people it wasn't as amazing as Dean was making it out to be. Castiel's family just had a lot more money than Dean's. Dean's father was a mechanic, as was Dean, and his mother was a waitress at a small diner. His parents met while they were still young, married in their late teens right after they reached adulthood. They didn't go to collage because they didn't believe that they could pay the student loans. The Winchester house was a smaller house and in a run down part of town, but you could never tell that from the inside where Mary made sure it was always clean and tidy and John always made sure every thing worked and ran safely. 

Dean flopped down on Castiel's bed knowing very well that he wouldn't care if it got messed up. He scooted near the top by the pillows while Castiel sat down at the end of the bed. They crossed their legs facing each other. Castiel begun pulling homework out of his bag while Dean begun eating from the box. 

Dean couldn't help but frown at the papers in Castiel's hand. Why did they always have to do the work immediately? Couldn't they do it later? 

He didn't bother asking. He knew what Cas would say.

“Dean, would you actually do it later? We'd forget and not do it.” Then Dean would glumly retort back about how he probably wouldn't do it at home while pulling out his work to please Castiel.

“Cas, how about we not do that right now?” Dean asked politely, maybe he could reason with the nerd.

“Dean, -” he started exactly like Dean knew he would. “Would you actually do it la-”

“It doesn't matter. I know you'll remember to do it later, you giant geek. I don't care if mine get's done or not. Why don't we talk?” Dean interrupted trying his best to sound as sincere as possible to get Castiel to agree with him. Castiel just kinda stared at him for a minute then mumbled very quietly,

“I'm not a giant geek.”

“Sure you are, buddy, that's why I love you.” Dean grinned, scooting slightly closer before he put on a more serious face. “Seriously dude, what's been eating you up?”

Castiel looked down at his where his hands were holding papers before he gently sat them aside. He continued to look at his hands.

“Dean, how old were you when you lost your virginity?” Castiel asked lowly and very seriously, only glancing up at Dean for half a second before returning to studying his palms. 

The question was a little weird to Dean. Why would that come up? Castiel had said this had something to do with Meg earlier, right? So does that mean that Castiel had lost his own v-card?

“Oh, well, erm....” Dean begun thinking back to the night. “I was about a month away from turning...” He cleared his throat, embarrassed. “Fourteen?” he said uncertainly even though he knew that it was true. He was now sixteen. At that age it seemed like a very scary thing. Now it didn't even seem to matter and he nailed some girl whenever he could. He knew though that it could be a big deal. He also knew that he should take it more seriously but honestly couldn't care.

“Why?” He asked Castiel. This question was unexpected and he had to know what brought it up.

Castiel finally looked at Dean with a very serious expression. “With whom?” He asked all giant geek like. 

“Oh, um, Lisa...” He said his face turning red. Castiel nodded lightly. He probably already guessed that. He and Lisa were never actually a couple (Dean would never enter a relationship) but they have had flings on and off for a while now.

“Cas, why are you asking about this, man?” Dean repeated his question.

“Well...” He looked all around the room almost as if checking to make sure they were alone. He then settled his gaze on the pillows behind Dean. 

“Meg has been, you know, asking about it. I... I don't really know that I want to yet.” He said quietly.

Oh. Oh. He hadn't lost it yet, but he was clearly pondering it. 

“You don't have to do anything you don't want to do Cas, okay?” Dean was trying to read Castiel expression. Did Castiel want to sleep with Meg? Why did he seem so uncertain?

“This will probably sound silly to you” Castiel gave a lopsided smile. 

“Try me.” Dean smiled reassuringly back.

“I want to wait. Meg, she's great. But I... I don't know. I know that she has had sex before. She's a year older than me and has experience and that is a little intimidating. I also want to be with someone special, you know?” Castiel was looking very seriously at Dean, but then looked away sheepishly. Dean almost laughed at his red cheeks. “I really like Meg. But, Dean, it's not love. And I'm only fifteen. Maybe I should just wait, but I don't want to anger her.” 

Wow. No wonder this was bothering him so much. He has clearly put a lot more thought into this than Dean did. At the same time, though, Dean got it. He understood the need to wait and the fear and pressure that comes with this kind of thing.

“It's not silly, Cas, at all. It's smart. You should wait if you're not ready. If you don't wanna, you don't gotta. If it pisses her off then you know that she isn't the one. If she cared she'd want to wait for when you're comfortable.” Dean paused thinking about what to say next to support his friend. He wasn't really the best person to be giving this advice, seeing his history with girls and just rushing into it. His goal was the end result of pleasure. He didn't think of anything else because a relationship didn't interest him. Also, this was heading straight into chick-flick territory.

He realized that this was a very long pause and turned his attention back to Castiel, who was looking at him uncertainly. He smiled then thinking of what their friend Charlie might say.

“You do you, boo,” Dean winked, then laughed, and then laughed even harder at the ridiculous face Castiel made as if he was trying to figure out if Dean was serious or not.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry.” He apologized though it was betrayed by him still laughing. 

Castiel was very quiet. “I assure you, I'm also not boo.” he stated very seriously. Dean stopped laughing. It was now his turn to question what just happened. Was he really buying what Dean was selling?

Castiel grinned., obviously finding it hilarious how Dean's sudden mood changed.

“Damn, dude, you can be really fucking serious!” He informed Castiel. 

“Thank you, Dean. You're advice means a lot.” Castiel replied sincerely. 

“No problem, Cas, anytime.” Dean fell back onto the pillows in a slightly awkward position with his legs still crossed. Castiel took in his position with furrowed eyebrows, probably trying to determine how that was comfortable.

“Right... Well... We should probably do our homework.” Castiel reminded Dean, pissing him off immediately. 

“Seriously?” he whined.

“You said we would after we talked!” Castiel exclaimed, pulling out his stuff. Dean gave an exaggerated sigh.

“Fiiine” He huffed watching Castiel move. 

Castiel thought that Dean couldn't see with his head turned the adorable little smile that he was making. Castiel, for once, was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think! Comments are my will to keep writing! Also, give me any ideas you may have because I will always consider them for either this or future fictions!!!   
> And, I got the format figured out yay!!!


	3. You're Going To Have To Grow Up Some Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel thinks about his time with Dean. Meg gives him a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, this chapter was fighting back. I wasn't necessarily busy, I let my depression get the best of me and laid in bed :/. 
> 
> Warning: Mentions of self-harm, drug use, and underage sex.

Castiel loved the time he spent with Dean. Dean was so very enticing and different from Castiel. Dean was the one who had pulled Castiel from his own mind. He thought before that he very much loved to be locked away in his mind, until he learn what was outside of his mind: Dean Winchester.

To Castiel, Dean was his savior. Castiel was not in a very good place that freshmen year when the green eyed boy walked up to him and slid into the seat directly beside him at the small round table he sat at during lunch. Castiel, of course had no choice but to be sitting by other students, seeing as there was a huge student body, but none of the directly next to him. Dean did. 

He had deep marks marred into his skin. It didn't matter what he told himself at the time about how wrong everything he was doing was, he dug the knife deeper. 

Everything anyone one had ever told him about cutting yourself was wrong. People always said that it was to feel in control. But he didn't feel in control. His emotions were everywhere. He didn't know what he would be taking control of. He just liked the burn his nerves sent to his brain. They also said that people who cut themselves did it because they couldn't feel it. That wasn't true either.

He could definitely feel it. It made him cringe to think about the moment her razor swiped over his thin flesh and made a mark that would bleed. It hurt. Sometimes it hurt a lot. In a weird way, that was kinda the point. He liked the hurt in a weird way he didn't ever think he could explain. He was obsessed with the feeling of the raised skin on his arm. He was obsessed with how that skin was always hotter to the touch than his other arm.

The cut wasn't the only thing that hurt, either. It hurt when the long sleeved shirt or jacket rubbed against it. It hurt when someone grabbed his arm. It hurt whenever it was poked, or he bumped it. But it was worth it to lay in bed and smile as his arm bled beside him. It felt like nothing could touch him.

He didn't think he would understand a doctors reasoning for why he cuts herself. But hey, maybe he was doing it wrong.

But doesn't that really show how much confidence someone has in themselves? 

When they are afraid that they self harm wrong?

All this changed one day after he met Dean.

The other children avoided him and never talked to him. Dean did. The other children were appalled by the marks on his arm. No one cared. Dean did. Dean didn't tell him to stop. Dean didn't tell him it was wrong. Dean didn't make a big deal out of it. He just did his best to take place of the knife and make Castiel better again. He didn't try and control him, he let Castiel do as he needed. And what Castiel needed, was to not feel so alone.

Castiel doesn't know where he would be without Dean. He doesn't know if he would still be alive, even. The feeling of worthlessness was drowning. The feeling of nothingness, the feeling of constant sinking and no one there to pull him out. The feeling of being alone while surrounded in people. The feeling of not caring while crying himself to sleep. 

Castiel would be dead if not for Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester was a hero. 

He made Castiel's life worth living.

 

The next day, a Saturday, Meg knocked at Castiel's door. She waited almost impatiently. She then jabbed he finger on the door bell. It was a fairly big house, maybe they didn't here the knock. 

The door came open, while she was still pushing the stupid button. It was Castiel's smart-ass aunt. She didn't like Meg very much, meg could tell. None of them did. But she didn't really care. 

In her mind she had the little innocent fifteen year old at her whim. With his bright blue eyes and perfect skin and messy hair. Sure, he was nerdy. Sure, he was really weird. Sure not many people liked him. Or, really, anyone. 

Meg didn't care. She wanted to steal away that innocence. She wanted those big bright eyes to stop glowing a little. The world wasn't perfect, she'd teach him that. Not everyone had money like his family. Not everyone got whatever they wanted. Not everyone was flawless like his entire family. She wanted him to break beneath her. She wanted to take control of that boys childishness. He needed to learn the ways of the real world.

“Hello, Meg.” Amara greeted, not unpolitely. If she wasn't acting, Meg would snort and roll her eyes at the falseness of the formal greeting. 

“Hi, Ms. Shurley. Your nephew home? “ She asked with a fake smile that fooled all dumb people and held up a plate. “I made him brownies.” 

“Oh, that's very sweet of you.” Amara praised, moving to the side and gesturing for Meg to enter the Shurley home. It was always warm in the house. It was all most always clean too. Amara was a bit of a neat freak, and that had been passed to Meg's boyfriend and his only sister, Anna. “He's in his room, I believe. He has plans to go with Dean and Charlie tomorrow though, so you might want to arrange something if you are coming over tomorrow, too.” 

Meg almost screamed. “Charlie Bradbury?” she asked, her cool niceness sliding for a moment.

“Uh, I- yes?” She said almost as a question. Probably wondering if that was something she should have kept secret. Meg just nodded slightly and headed for the stairs that led to the hallway that then lead to Castiel's room. She didn't bother to knock.

When the door opened, Castiel looked up from where he was reading some probably expensive book. A normal kid would probably be jerking off, but not this weird fucker.

“Heya, Cassie.” She greeted plopping down in front of Castiel. “I made you brownies” She smiled at the surprised look on his face.

“Oh, hello, Meg. I didn't know you'd be coming over.” his face morphed into a smile. “Thank you very much. It is very good to see you.” He informed her, glancing down to the brownies and back up to Meg.

“I bet, you'd probably be bored until you went out with Dean and Charlie.” She sneered the names of Castiel's two best friends. She could of laughed at the hurt look on Castiel's face.

“I- I'm sorry.” He stammered like he was afraid of 'hurting' Meg further. Adorable.  
“We were just probably going to eat something at the mall and then buy something for Kevin, his birthday is coming up. He'll be sixteen. We, we wanted to get him something nice, so we uh, we were going to put our money together to buy him something special.” Castiel rambled on. Meg didn't care at all what they were doing or why. She didn't care about his stupid nerdy friends great sixteenth. 

“Castiel, I don't care, it's fine.” She told him but the tone of her voice made it very clear it wasn't. He stopped talking and looked at his lap. 

Meg put her finger to his chin. “Hey, Cas.” She soothingly leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He immediately responded happily as she moved to get closer to him and in his lap. 

He was sitting criss-crossed on the bed so it was a little difficult, but she managed to straddle his waist while still kissing him. She was over him now because of there position and she deepened the kiss, letting her tongue into his mouth and swirling it around his. Their tongues danced for a while before Meg pulled off her leather jacket. Maybe they could escalate to something more without him realizing and she could finally have what she wanted. 

This was the thought she had as she began kissing the corners of his mouth, then she kissed down his sharp jaw line. Her hands moved to push back his outer shirt that was gray and already unbuttoned with a blue one that matched his eyes underneath. 

While Meg was sloppily sucking on Castiel's neck, she ran her fingers over his chest, feeling his muscles through the thin shirt. This was something else she had noticed through her time with the Shurley boy. Everyone thought he was a wimpy nerd. Which, honestly, was pretty true. But he did have muscle and he was by no means weak. He had strong hands that were holding her up. He had a runners body. He was without a doubt beautiful.

Meg moved her lips back up his neck and to his ear where she sucked on his ear lobe, which earned her a light moan. She began a path way back to his lips where he licked his way into her mouth. That time she moaned. 

Now, Meg wasn't a saint. She was sixteen and had been with probably more people than a twenty year old. Hell, she'd been with a twenty year old, not that she'd tell anyone. Meg knew what she liked and how she liked it. She's been called all the names, too. Slut. Whore. But what she knew was that it numbed her. It numbed her like weed and it numbed her like alcohol. And that's what she wanted. 

Meg rolled her hips down onto Castiel. She knew that if there wasn't a reaction yet, that this would probably draw one from the boy. She, of course, was right. But not the one she wanted. 

Castiel stopped his movements, pulling back slightly and was looking at Meg with an almost panicked look. Meg frowned down at him. He was the dude in this relationship, but damn he sure was a pussy.

“Meg, look, I- we've talked about this, and, and, I don't- I can't-” He was stuttering again. Why was he always stuttering? Why did he have to act so afraid of everything all the time?

“Look, Castiel, I get it. You're scared.” She said it in the most mono toned voice. Clearly, she didn't actually care. “But, hey, everyone is scared the first time. You can't keep acting like this.” She told him very sternly. Like a child that was in trouble.

Castiel was already visibly uncomfortable, but that just seemed to grow. He moved a little, like he was trying to get out from under Meg and her arms that were still resting on his sides above his hips. 

“Meg, could we just wait a little longer?” He was almost pleading. She scowled at him.

“You're going to have to grow up someday.” she grumbled, climbing off of him. She watched him sit there, rather pathetically, and try and gather himself from what happened. What was wrong with him?

He looked up at Meg cautiously, then back down to the blanket. “I can get my laptop, we can watch some movies?” He asked very slowly like she would hit him. She just let out a long, irritated sigh.

“Fine, Cas, that's fine.” She retorted shaking her head as she repositioned herself to lay next to him. He moved off the bed and grabbed his laptop off the desk were it was charging. 

“Here, I'll go get popcorn, you pick out something on Netflix.” He instructed before moving out of the room. 

Meg grabbed the laptop, glancing at the brownies. They'd help. Those kinds of brownies always help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are my will and inspiration to keep writing! Please tell me what you think!


	4. I Knew You Wanted This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. I've got a lot going on. This it NOT proofread or betaed or anything.  
> WARNING: I don't want to spoil anything specific, so just read the tags.

Meg and Castiel sat in almost complete silence. The only noise was coming from Castiel's laptop in between the teenagers. Meg was eating the popcorn that was sitting on her stomach, while Castiel had eaten a few brownies. He offered her some, like the good little boy he was, but she kindly declined. She told Castiel that she made them for him and that he should eat them. 

Meg could tell they were already leaving an effect on him. His eyes were drooping and he in general seemed a little out of it. She knew that he would most likely fall asleep soon and was happy when the credits started to roll. She sat up, moving onto her side and propping herself up on her elbow. She watched Castiel's slow reaction time as he turned to where she moved. He appeared to be a little surprised in her change of position but he gave her a lazy smile.

“Hello, Meg.” He said a little slowly. She just rolled her eyes at him while closing the laptop and moving it onto the night stand along with the bowl of popcorn. She lifted another brownie to Castiel's lips.

“Here, baby, eat this one, too.” She ordered in a kind, soothing voice. High people could get scared pretty easily sometimes.

“Nah... I, uh, I ar-already had enough” He mumbled sluggishly. He sat up on his elbows while looking confused around the room. 

“It feel weird to you?” He asked. Meg almost laughed. He was honestly so adorable. 

“No, you're probably just tired. You're always so busy with school.” She said, leaning over and putting a hand on his chest. His eyes slowly moved down to look at her hand, then trailed up her arm, to her shoulders, then neck, and finally he was looking at her lips. Which, was thrilling to say the least.

Meg bent over connecting her lips to his. He made a pleased sound but took a moment to respond. His own lips began moving and his hands came to cup her head. Meg pushed her tongue into his mouth and could taste the brownies and what ever drug was in them. She didn't know. It probably would have been weed, but she had gotten her hands on something her dealer said would probably knock him out. 

That appeared to be what was happening. He was moving very slowly and she could tell was trying very hard to concentrate on kissing her. His breathing started to speed as well. He was probably having a difficult time focusing on kissing her, staying awake, and breathing at the same time. She decided to have mercy on him, and moved to lay her head on his chest.

“Castiel, you should go to sleep.” 

“It's really hot in here.” he whined. 

“Well then, take your shirt off.” she joked. She was completely surprised when he began tugging at the hem of his shirt and Meg could see the beautiful skin of his stomach. She sat up to watch him pull the cloth over his head, before he sunk back down onto the pillow. His eyes were closed, but he reached out and grabbed her elbow, pulling her back down to lay on his chest. 

At this time she felt doubt. Castiel was so sweet and kind. She had just drugged him. She was dating him with one sole purpose: to take him down a peg. He was just a stupid rich kid. But he wanted to make sure she was comfortable while he slept. He was so kind to everyone.

But see, that's what he needed to loose. You can't be good to everyone. You can't be nice. They'll walk over you. They'll use you. He needed to learn that. He needed to learn that not everything is good and that his stupid family wasn't perfect. He needed to learn he couldn't continue living the way that he was living. 

Meg moved her hand to his stomach and stared at his chest. Doubt was unnecessary. All doubt gave you was failure, and Meg Masters was not a failure. She set out to do something and she would do it. 

_______________________

When Castiel awoke he felt a familiar feeling. It was a feeling he often woke up to. It was something he had been told many boys woke up to. The feeling of arousal that he sometimes could ignore, but he could tell almost instantly that today would not be one of those days.

He also felt things that were unfamiliar. He felt incredibly hazy and disoriented. He couldn't seem to open his eyes. He felt like he couldn't feel most of his body. He was also very hungry and thirsty. But the weirdest thing would definitely be that his whole body seemed to be moving. He could feel a pressure build up in his abdomen like when he was taking care of himself in the morning. 

Now he felt scared. 

His arms and leg wouldn't move and his eyes wouldn't open. He didn't know what was happening. But then he felt something on his hips. They felt like hands. 

“Ugh.” was all he managed to get out of his mouth. It didn't even sound like himself. He wanted whoever was touching him to stop. He didn't want to be touched right now while he felt so disoriented. And he definitely didn't want to be touched on his hips. Everything about this was weird and strange.

“Castiel, it's okay.” Cas heard in pants above him. Meg. He heard Meg. What was she doing? It was the morning she shouldn't be in here. She should definitely not be touching him. 

“Meg?” he gasped out. It felt like he was going to explode. His eyes finally opened a little and Castiel didn't think that he had ever been this startled. 

Meg was not wearing any clothing. She was on his hips rocking up and down and Castiel realized what was happening. His hands raised to her hips. He wanted to get her off, he didn't want this. He didn't know how. He supposed that he could lift her, but he didn't feel like he had any muscle. He felt like jello all over. 

“I knew you wanted it.” She breathed out, she shuddered and fell onto him, but she kept her movements in her hips going. Her mouth was now pressed into his neck, kissing, sucking, and licking. Castiel turned his head away from her searching tongue, but it didn't stop her.

“Meg.” He tried to call out again, but it still sounded a little garbled. All she did was hum a response. 

“Please.” He whined. He could feel it. The build up was coming to be too much. He had to get her off him. “Stop.” He told her.

“Aw, Cassie, don't be like that.” She said with sharp thrusts down onto him. He felt her body clench up. She clenched around him and that was it. Castiel felt like yelling, but all he did was let out a moan as he released into her. 

They both layed there panting. Meg was trying to catch her breath while Castiel was trying to regain control over his body. Everything felt out of place. He was breathing harshly and his head was screaming. He was still inside of Meg and the feeling over over stimulation was almost unbearable. 

Finally, Meg sat back up, but all it did was move him around in her. She moaned while Castiel whined. He felt ridiculous and like he would cry as he watched her pull off of him and his soft dick came out. 

“Oh, Cas, you feel amazing.” She informed in a breathless voice. She moved to the side of the bed and Castiel watched as she bent over to pull her underwear back on. He still couldn't bring himself to move. 

“Meg, what did you do?” He asked in almost a whisper. She snorted and turned back to look at him with creased eyebrows. 

“You seemed to have a problem, I just offered assistance.” She said matter of factually, like he was the dumb one. 

“What?” He asked, confusion bubbling through him.

“You had a raging boner, thought you could use a little help.” Meg said as she slid on her pants. Castiel managed to sit up on his elbows.

“That's not- you don't, you can't- it doesn't” Castiel was mumbling trying to find a response, but words failed him.

“Look, Cas, I don't need a thank you.” She said, grinning down at him as she pulled on her shirt. “I should be going, your aunt and dad don't know I stayed the night.” She informed Castiel, chuckling at the bewildered expression on his face, 

Castiel looked down at himself. His shirt was missing, he didn't know where it was or when it had came off. His pants and boxers had been pulled down to his knees. Then he noticed something else that he's pretty sure he had a heart attack from. His whole stomach felt like it had dropped and his head begun to spin even more.

“M-meg?” He called out before she could open the bedroom door. She turned impatiently to look at his frightened face. Castiel swallowed thickly.

“You didn't even bother with a condom?” He questioned, his voice incredibly high pitched. He watched her eyes move down to his dick, then back to him.

“I'm on birth control, don't worry about it.” She quickly walked out while Castiel started disbelievingly at the door. 

His phone went off, but he couldn't bring himself to look at it. His mind couldn't wrap around what had just happened. It couldn't have been real, right? He didn't even remember the end of the movie. He must have fallen asleep. He's just dreaming. This isn't something that happens. This isn't something that could happen to him. 

There was a knock at his door. Castiel automatically jumped up to pull the blankets around himself. 

“Y-yes?” The door opened, and Anna was standing there. The only thought in Castiel's mind was how much he wanted to hug her. He needed his big sister right now. She could figure this out. She always figured things out. She was always there for him.

“Hey, sleepy head.” She smiled a bright smile. “Dean and Charlie are downstairs waiting for you.” She told him, moving more in the room. Castiel's hands tightened over the blanket. 

“Oh, yeah, I forgot, sorry.” 

“Castiel, are you okay?” She asked moving even closer to his bed. He nodded quickly, wanting to tell her everything. He wanted to sit her down and ask her what this meant. What he should do. How this could have happened. 

“Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, Anna.” He tired to smile but he had a feeling that it appeared forced. She gave him a concerned, disbelieving look. 

“Okay, if you need anything come talk to me.” She ruffled her hand through his wild hair, and tried to ignore the flinch and she walked out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE, please, please leave a comment. Especially if you liked it. I find it hard to write without the encouragement.


	5. This Isn't Going To Be The First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel, Charlie, and Dean finally go to the mall.

Dean high-fived Alphy, Castiel's little brother, when he made a high score and beat Charlie who was sitting beside the boy on the couch. 

“Well, it's about time someone brought her down a peg!” He grinned down from where he was standing beside the couch. He was standing close to the room entrance, which was close to the stairs. Those stairs floor boards should have creaked a while ago.

Dean was incredibly impatient and a little worried. Castiel was always up early. He was normally outside waiting for Dean. Why hadn't he come down yet? Maybe he was sick and they'd have to reschedule the day of shopping for Kevin. The three of them, Dean, Charlie, and Castiel, were best friends. Sometimes it was easier to just just have the three of them alone together than with the whole group they were with at school. 

The floor boards finally creaked and Dean got exited, just to turn around to see Anna. She gave him a smile but something about it told Dean something was off.

“He was just getting up, he'll be down soon.” She gave the younger teenagers a soothing smile. “Would you like something to eat?” 

“We'll be eating out, thanks” Dean replied smiling back. She really was beautiful. She had long beautiful red locks that curled at the ends. She and Castiel shared the same bright blue eyes that almost seemed to sparkle. She had long legs and a slender body. 

Too bad she was Cas's sister. Sisters are off the table, or else he would be jumping that so much.

He did try in the beginning of his and Castiel's friendship, but Anna didn't seem interested. Probably thought that he was just some young kid who was messing around with her. Well, he is older now, but, well, sisters are off the table. 

Dean moved to sit on the arm of the couch to continue his waiting. He hadn't seen Castiel since they talked after school on Friday. He had texted him on Saturday a little about an assignment that was due on Monday, but that was is. Dean was really hoping Castiel wasn't sick.

“Imma' get you.” Charlie informed the child. It was just like her, to take any chance she could get to play a game. Dean was guessing though, that she let Alphy win. 

“Hello, Dean.” came a voice, sounding slightly uncertain. Dean jumped at the noise, he didn't hear Castiel come down. 

“Uh, hey, Cas, what's up?” 

Castiel didn't really smile, he lifted the corners of his mouth but it was no where near a smile. 

“I'm just tired.” He replied. Well, okay, but didn't he just wake up.

“Right, well, we should go...” Dean turned and looked at Charlie. She was completely focused on the game and Dean would bet that she didn't even notice that Castiel had come down. 

“Charlie!” Dean yelled while standing to walk out of the room, he could feel Castiel follow.  
Dean was exited for today. He loved to go out with his two best friends. He loved to get out of his house at all, honestly. He loved to be able to eat something other than canned foods and hamburger helper. He loved not be cramped in a small house. He loved being out, and feeling free.

Dean climbed into the drivers seat, and frowned when Castiel got in the back seat. 

“Cas, y'know that Charlie sat shotgun while on the way here. It's your turn to sit up front.” He informed his friend. 

“I don't mind.” is all he said, then sunk himself into the leather seats. Dean didn't know how to respond so he just started up the car, and they waited for Charlie.

_______________________

When they got to the Mall, they went to a few stores. They looked around for something Kevin might like. They found a lot, but nothing seemed right. Until they walked past an electronic store.

“Laptop.” Was all Charlie said as she began walking towards the entrance. Castiel and Dean just stopped and stared at her for a moment before they followed. 

Something was definitely wrong with Cas, Dean decided. He wasn't putting in as much opinion as he normally would, he wasn't really talking at all. He seemed very distant. Normally, he would stand too close to Dean, and sometimes even too close to Charlie. Today he seemed to stay a way. He seemed not to even notice sometimes when one of them addressed him. 

“We should go eat.” Was the first thing that he said without being spoken to first. 

“Okay, sure.” Charlie responded, happily holding the bag with a pricey laptop in it. All of their money went into it. Dean was okay with spending his money, surprisingly. He earned his own money working. Charlie was paid a little with every good report card, and Castiel started being paid a little for chores when he turned 14, and had some saved up. All in all, it ended up being a lot. They sadly weren't able to buy the exact laptop they wanted (that one had a Super Mario design) but settled for a red one. 

Castiel followed behind the group as they moved into the built in McDonald's. 

“So, Cas, how's it going?” Dean asked as soon as the group sat down with their food and drinks. Castiel had just taken a huge bite of his burger and now glared at Dean for asking him a question while his mouth was full. 

“I'm fine, just incredibly hungry.” He informed Dean and Charlie. “More so than usual.” he noted. 

He continued to take large bites and appeared to be lost in thought. That wasn't much of a surprise to Dean, he often looked more like he was in his own head than the real world. Dean just wanted to know what he was thinking about. 

Dean had also noticed that, when given the choice, Castiel decided to sit in his both alone while Dean and Charlie at together. He normally always wanted to be by one of them. Normally by him, Dean thought smugly. 

Dean continued eating his own sandwich, his was some burger with loads of bacon. He also had a some fries he and eat one every once in a while. It was uncomfortably quiet for a while.

Then someone slid into the both, next to Castiel.

“Hey, Cassie, what's up.” Meg said, leaning on Castiel. Dean could feel himself and Charlie tense up. They both couldn't stand their friends girlfriend. They should have been happy for him, but they both felt she was trying to use him for something. 

Castiel looked like he was ducking his head away from her, but Dean couldn't really tell with the way Meg was leaning on him. Castiel glanced up at Meg, then down to the table.

“M-meg, what are you doing here?” The question startled Dean. Cas stuttered and seemed almost hesitant. His eyes were wide as he looked at her, and Dean thought he looked tense too.

“I just missed you. Yesterday you said you'd be here, remember?” She smirked at him, but it seemed twisted and evil. Castiel was concentrating really hard on the question. 

“No, I don't really remember much of last night.” Castiel replied and there was a bit of a sneer there as Cas turned back to look at his burger. Meg's face almost seemed to darken. Dean and Charlie both stayed quit, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Well, I just wanted to drop by and say hi while I was here.” Meg turned to Dean and Charlie with and gave them a sarcastic “hi” before she pecked Castiel on the cheek, and left.

But that wasn't all Dean noticed. Castiel flinched. He flinched away from her kiss. He tried to move away. Dean had never seen that before. Dean glanced at Charlie to see if she noticed. From the look on her face, she did.

Castiel quickly glanced up at them. They had forgot their food and were staring at him.

“I'm... sorry.” He said, and hurried to look back down. Dean cleared his throat.

“For what?” He asked. He could feel Charlie beside him shift in the awkwardness. How could one person change the mood so much. 

Castiel looked embarrassed. “I don't know.”

“Well, then don't apologize.” Charlie replied, and then quickly whipped out her phone. “So, what do you guys think about the new Snapchat filters?” she questioned. 

This was why Dean loved Charlie. She always knew how to ease things back down.

Still, Dean made a note to figure out what was wrong with Castiel. Nothing really made much since. Castiel was asleep for a very long time, he seemed very out of it, very distant. He was so quiet, and he fucking flinched away from contact. Was it Meg or people in general that had made him uncomfortable? Did something happen Saturday or perhaps on Friday after Dean left? Did Anna know, is that why she seemed so worried?

Dean didn't know. He supposed that if Castiel didn't tell him he didn't need to know. But he felt that all he needed was to make sure that Castiel was okay. 

All Dean knew was the he needed to make sure Castiel never looked this sad and miserable ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments on the last one!! I loved them and they made me smile. It feels like forever since I have actually meant it :)  
> I wanted to say to my fellow American's, Happy Thanksgiving. If you are reading this and tomorrow is not Thanksgiving or it isn't Thanksgiving where you live, remember that it doesn't matter what time of the year it is. You can always be thankful for what you have. I am forever thankful for Misha Collins. :D


	6. My Ever Restless Mind

He stood alone in his room. The weekend was basically over. Dean went home. Charlie went home. He went home. Things went by like they normally did that Sunday while Castiel was at the mall with his closest friends. 

Why did it feel like everything was so entirely different for him now?

Castiel stared at his bed from his door way. He was loath to get in it. The blankets were still thrown about, the sheets were still pulled up from the edge because of Castiel digging his fists into them, the pillows were still out of there normal place at the head, and now on the floor. A plate still sat on the end table with three brownies left on it. 

Did Meg drug him? As much as he didn't want to believe it, it did seem entirely possible. Meg often got high with weed or stolen pain medication. It would have been incredibly easy for her to find something that made Castiel pass out. It would have been easy for her to find some way to take advantage of him.

He trusted Meg. Castiel trusted her despite the fact that he knew that she wasn't the best person. She didn't get good grades and she frequently did drugs, but that didn't make her a bad person. Having lot's of sex didn't make you a bad person. Those were just activities that she liked to do. They didn't bother Castiel. But he did know about how she cheated on tests, how she blackmailed to get what she wanted, how she used people like tools. And now she had used him, too.

How could he have looked over all of this?

Not only did she drug him, basically rape him (though Castiel refused to use that term), she also didn't use protection. Meg had informed Castiel that this was okay because she herself was on birth control. Castiel didn't think that made it okay. Birth control didn't always work. Sometimes the kind you use isn't made for you and you don't find out until after you have sex. Also, he wasn't necessarily worried about just pregnancy. Castiel knew that Meg had been with a large group of males in her past. If she was using the same train of thought with the birth control with these men, then it was very likely she might have diseases. She could have carelessly given these diseases to Castiel.

This is something that they should have talked about. This was why talking was important. Like Dean said. Dean was right, Dean was always right.

Dean. 

Castiel wanted all day to tell Dean. Every time Dean asked “Cas, how are you doing?” every time he asked “You okay, buddy?”. Castiel wanted to tell him that, no, he wasn't fine. He was confused. He was worried. He was even scared.

But of what? Meg didn't hurt him. At most she just gave him drugs that could potentially have bad side effects and given him a STD that he could have the rest of his life.

It isn't like it will happen again, right?

He needed to talk to Dean, but how would he bring it up? He saw Dean a lot in school but couldn't imagine bringing it up to him there. It didn't seem like an appropriate time. Also, he would see Meg in school. They didn't always speak to one another in school, though. He was a sophomore, she was a junior. They didn't even have classes together. They just passed in the hall sometimes. 

Castiel wondered if Meg even understood that what she did was on some level wrong. She didn't act like it, judging by how she reacted before she left that morning and when she sat by him in the restaurant. What if what she did wasn't wrong?

Could a male be sexually assaulted? Castiel found himself wondering. He thought so. Anyone could. Would his experience be belittled because he is not a female? It wasn't like he was injured. He wasn't attacked. He was in his own home. He was in his own bed. He had invited her over. But he hadn't consented. That made it wrong, right? 

Castiel didn't know. He needed to talk to someone who would. Like Anna, she was smart. Or Dean, he had experience in the sexual category. Those were two of the most important people in his life. But how would he even begin to bring it up.

Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe he was reading to much into it and being over dramatic. 

Castiel closed his bedroom door, finally. He moved to his bed and yanked the sheets off. He couldn't imagine laying on them now. He threw the pillows and blankets across the room, where they knocked something loudly off his dresser. He didn't care. He walked over to his closet and pulled out an extra blanket and then flopped down on his bare mattress, it was cold. Everything felt cold. 

Castiel was happy to finally be laying down. He could get some proper sleep. The sleep he had before didn't seem to give him any energy and hopefully tonight would relieve stress. He really hoped so. Maybe he could get this all sorted out in the morning. 

Castiel lied there for what seemed like a long time, but nothing happened. He couldn't sleep. Thoughts of everything that had happened that day floated around in his head. Thoughts of what happened last time he went to sleep were ever present in his restless mind. His phone buzzed.

Groaning he reached for it, blinking against the sudden brightness in his otherwise dark room.

Dean: hey man, I know u werent ok today. Please talk to me anytime you need something. It dont matter what it is. Im always here for u 

Castiel smiled. He could always count on Dean. 

Castiel fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get as many comments on the last one... I'm sorry for whatever downfall there was in it.  
> I am thinking about starting to do prompts. This might help me with writing fanfiction because I am still new at it and I feel like I suck. I don't feel I am doing very well, not like I had hoped I'd do. So, if anyone had any kind of Supernatural prompt, please send it to me. I don't know if I'll do it, but I will see if it is something I'd be interested it.  
> PLEASE leave a comment. They are very important to me and my writing ability!!!


	7. Hold On Til May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the chapter is from the song "Hold On Til May" by Pierce The Veil. I listened to the cover by Elizabeth Grace on repeat while writing this chapter.

Dean woke up with his little brother throwing a water bottle at him. 

“Sam, what the fuck?” He groaned, rolling over to his stomach and burying his head into the pillow.

“You need to get up. I refuse to keep getting to school late because of you,” Sam practically yelled. He eyed the room.

“Also, your room looks like shit. That water bottle was from the floor,” he bitched before he turned to leave the room. “Please hurry up.”

Dean knew to get up, his dad would make sure he did if Sam didn't. He knew the only reason that Sam acted like that was to prevent John from yelling at Dean. Because Sam knew that Dean would sit there and take it. That was something that Sam couldn't stand. But, Dean just thought he was being a good son.

Dean grumbled as he got up to pull on his clothing. He checked his phone, frowning that Cas never texted him back, before he went down stairs. He looked into the living room, where his father was passed out on the couch. Scanning the room, he didn't see any beer bottles. That was a good thing. That meant his father was just sleeping and not dealing with a hang over his mother would have to clean up. 

“Come on, Sammy!” Dean yelled into the kitchen. He didn't see his little brother. Glancing out the window he saw Sam was already in the car. 

“You take my keys?” Dean questioned, sliding into the drivers seat, Sam answered by holding out the keys and dropping them into Dean's hands. Dean shook his head, but didn't complain as he started the car and begun to drive to Sam's middle school.

 

When Dean got to the high school, he didn't see Castiel. This was odd, because Castiel normally got there pretty early. Dean went to their usual waiting spot. Benny was leaning against the wall, talking to Jo. 

“Hey, guys.” Dean greeted, automatically in a sour mood because Cas wasn't present. He pulled out his phone to text him. 

Dean: dude where are you?

“You know where Cas is?” He asked the other two. They both informed him that no, they hadn't seen him. Dean sighed. Figures. He watched other students walk by them. Opening lockers, going to breakfast, entering class rooms early, talking with friends. Then he spotted her. Queen bitch herself. He walked towards her and the guy she was walking with, Dean recognized him as Alistair.

“Meg!” he called. When she turned she had a scowl on her face. Her usual resting face.

“What?” She sneered. Dean rolled his eyes. 

“You know what's been up with Cas?” He asked her, wishing he didn't have to ever talk to her. Wishing she wasn't such a fake who could manipulate his best friend.

“No, why?” She asked looking ridiculously impatient. “Maybe your a little too worried about your boy toy.” She said, a small smirk appearing in her features. Dean sneered at her, but held his tongue on Cas's behalf. He turned and walked away, glancing down at his phone.

Cas: I'm on my way, I just slept in.

Dean sighed. That was so unlike Cas. Cas was like Sam. He couldn't stand to be late. School was to important. Dean had to wonder if the way Castiel was acting had something to do with Meg. After what he and Cas had talked about on Friday, it seemed likely. But Dean didn't know what could have happened between then and now. Meg has come into the mall and sat beside Cas, she didn't seem to notice anything was wrong. Or she didn't care. Castiel had seemed incredibly uncomfortable with her next to him. Was it because of Meg or just closeness altogether? 

Dean wished that he knew, or that he could find out. But he didn't.

 

Castiel wouldn't tell him. When Dean would ask or question him about it, he would give a sad little smile and say that nothing was wrong or that he was fine. Castiel stopped inviting Dean over. Castiel stopped going over to Dean's whenever Dean asked. He even declined one day when Sam asked.  
Castiel strayed from touch, he was even quieter than normal, and he hardly ate. Dean hadn't even seen him with Meg. 

This went on for a month and a half. Dean had had enough. 

“You wanna come over?” He asked hopefully at lunch. Castiel glanced up from his tray at Dean, before he looked away.

“Actually, Dean, I need to prepare for finals. They are coming up soon, as you know.” 

“Yeah, maybe I can study with you?” Please, say yes, please, please. 

“I just want to go home, honestly.” He shrugged, then started to grab his tray and stand to throw it away.

“Maybe I could go home with you?” Dean said quickly, reaching out to grab Cas's forearm. Castiel flinched and pulled back so hard he knocked the juice off of his tray. Thankfully, it was almost empty.

“I'm sorry.” Castiel said immediately, eyes wide staring at Dean. Everyone at their table turned to look over at them. Dean didn't know what to say or do. He sat, equally wide eyes. He could see the red rising up around Cas's neck and face. He grabbed the juice container and quickly walked to the trash can. Instead of coming back to his friends, he dashed out of the cafeteria. 

“Is he okay?” Kevin asked with the same same worried eyes the others also had. Dean looked around them. Castiel had so many people that loved him, if something was bothering him, why didn't he talk to one of them?

“I've got no clue.” Dean said mono-toned. He just wanted Cas to be alright, why wouldn't Castiel let him in? 

Dean got up, throwing his own tray away, and then left the cafeteria. He had know idea where Cas would have gone in panic but he strode into the bathroom. 

His search ended as soon as it began. He could hear Castiel's ragged breathing echoing around the room. 

“Cas?” He called out. “Hey, man, please talk to me.” 

“Dean, just go back to lunch,” was all he said. Dean wanted to scream. He figured that would just scare him more. He didn't know what to do, but he did listen to Castiel.

Dean returned to the cafeteria, but didn't go to his table. 

“Anna?” He asked, tapping on her shoulder. All her friends gave him a weird look. Probably wondering why a underclassmen was bothering them. She turned with an annoyed look on her face, until her eyes landed on Dean's. 

“What's wrong?” She asked with clear worry in her voice.

“I don't know exactly, but something is wrong with Castiel.” Dean told her, she stood immediately. She herself looked scared. Dean tried to put himself in her shoes. What would he do if someone came up to him and told him something was wrong with Sam? 

“He's in the bathroom.” He informed, turning back out of the room passing the other students. As he walked he explained to her everything he's noticed, along with what had just happened. She nodded as he talked. She must have noticed too, but she didn't say anything as they made their way through the halls. 

He stopped at the door.

“He sent me away, but I can go in and see if he'll come out for you?” 

She shook her head, and walked right into the men's bathroom. Okay, then. But, he guessed if something was wrong with Sam he wouldn't let anything as trivial as a sign get in his way. He followed behind her. 

“Castiel?” She asked in a very soothing voice. 

“Really, Dean?” Castiel complained in such a way Dean almost laughed. But when one of the stall doors opened and Cas walked out, he knew better. There were tear streaks on his face. 

“Castiel, what's wrong?” Anna asked taking a step towards him, but careful not to get too close. 

Castiel looked like he wanted to run again, but there was no way he could get out.

“You're not supposed to be in here.” He said blandly. 

“No one is, Cas, we're not allowed out of the lunch room.” she reminded him, smiling. 

“Please, we're just worried about you. Let us help.” She said, once again moving slightly closer to her little brother. She was saying what Dean had been thinking. Why couldn't Dean tell him that? That is exactly how he felt. Worried and wanting to help.

“Does... does this have to do with Meg?” Dean asked in the calmest voice he could conjure up.  
Castiel shook his head, but the wide eyed look he gave them said yes.

“What happened?” Anna asked, warily. She also didn't care much for Meg. It seemed no one really did. 

He shook his head again. “Nothing.”

“Cas, that's bullshit. We're not stupid.” Dean responded. Anna turned to look at him with sad eyes, then back to Castiel.

“Well, it's not of import.” Castiel said, then moved forward. Anna and Dean both moved to block his path. He gave them a pleading look. “Please, let me leave.” 

“Tell us.” Was all Anna said in a stern voice. Cas stared at her for a long minute. “Dean, do you remember that. . . thing we talked about, uh, about a month and a half ago?" 

Of course. That was the last time they actually had a serious talk. He nodded. Anna narrowed her eyes, probably because she had no clue what they were talking about.

“Meg. . . she didn't care what I wanted.” he whispered in a defeated voice. Dean's eyes widened. 

“Okay. . .” He really hoped that this wasn't going to go where his mind just went. Anna's eyes were going back and forth between the two, obviously confused. 

Castiel shrugged one shoulder. “I think she may have drugged me.” He said so quietly that Dean almost didn't hear it. He had never heard Cas sound so defeated.

“What?!” Anna exclaimed. “Why? What are you talking about?” 

Castiel backed away from her then. 

“She didn't. . . she didn't uh. . .” Dean stuttered as the words began to settle into his mind.

But Castiel nodded. He fucking nodded. Meg did. Meg probably did what ever she wanted. Dean wondered what kinds of drugs they were. Dean really hoped Castiel had been asleep for whatever Meg had planned.

“Are you okay?” He asked finally, but regretted it immediately. How could he be? Dean knew he wasn't. It explained why he had been acting the way he was for the last month and a half. And for the last month and a half every time Dean asked that Castiel had lied. He said he was fine. 

“No.” Castiel finally said, his shoulders fell, he looked exhausted. Dean could see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. “No, I'm really not.”

And Dean broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented on the last one! The comments were long and made me smile. I love feed back. I wanted to give a special thanks to Snips92, because you have commented on just about every chapter and I don't think it would have gotten this far without you.  
> Please, as always, leave a comment and feed back! It is much appreciated!!!


	8. Smiling, Never Frowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I haven't posted at all this year. Heh heh, that was a bad joke, sorry. But, it did take far too long for me to post this. I don't like to take a long time to post. I just kept making excuses for myself. I am terribly sorry. Here you go, I hope you enjoy it.

Castiel sat in one of his favorite places in the world. It was a simple place, but one that never failed to put a smile on his face. 

There was a cool breeze lightly grazing across his skin, his head back against the leather seat. His window was slightly down with the cold nights air around him. But he couldn't see it. His eyes were closed, and he just focused on the feelings that surrounded him. 

He could feel Dean's eyes on him. Of course they were. They sat in Dean's car. Dean in his spot behind the wheel. Castiel in his spot beside him. It felt right. It felt in place to be in the impala, in an abandoned parking lot by a river. Letting the dark air around them engulf him into an almost trance.

It felt so right.

Castiel could almost forget the events that lead him to be sitting in this car, at in the night. On a school night. 

Castiel remembered his heart beating profoundly in his chest. Two beautiful people staring at him with wide, worried eyes. He loved them. But he loathed to tell them. 

He could remember not being able to see them as the tears over took his eyes. It was wrong. He shouldn't have been so weak. Always so weak. 

He remembered the way Dean's shoulders fell from their almost permanent state of being squared. He remembered the pained look in his eyes. 

But Dean shouldn't feel pain. Dean should never feel pain, not for Castiel's sake. It was really his own fault, he should have known better. He should have been more prepared. He shouldn't have been so stupid.

Castiel remembered Anna asking what was going on. She seemed so worried. Castiel didn't know how to say the words out loud. He already felt a large weight off of him just because Dean knew. Because someone knew. No one should have ever known.

The weight quickly came back. This would potentially start so many other problems that Castiel just wanted to ignore. He wanted to ignore everything. His family. Meg. His friends. Even Dean.

Nothing seemed right anymore. Castiel couldn't comprehend why, however. The event that had accrued in his bedroom over a month ago had little significance. There was no reason for him to be carrying the memories with him, like a burden of pain. There was no reason for Castiel to be acting like such a child.

But he was. He was just a child. He was fifteen. He didn't know what anything meant anymore. He just felt irrationally scared and unintentionally angry. 

Castiel remembered pushing the two out of his way. He couldn't stand in the room cornered by them anymore. He couldn't stand to be stared down by them. He couldn't stand to be analyzed by them. He couldn't stand the suffocating feeling of not being able to move. 

Dean went easily enough. He seemed almost limp as Castiel pushed him out of the way. Anna had brought her hand up to his shoulder to prevent him the access needed to leave the restroom. He shrugged out of her grasp, muttering in quiet words for her to leave him alone. 

He remembered the hurt look on his big sisters face. She just wanted to help. But he didn't need help, for nothing was wrong. No reason for her to worry. 

Castiel walked wordlessly out of the room.

He went to his next class, and ignored everything. Including all his school work. It didn't seem important. 

He remembers walking angrily to Anna's car, where she was standing outside of. Waiting for him by the door instead of inside like usual. 

“Castiel.” She said with sorrow in her voice, but there was a seriousness about it that meant she was here for business. He knew that the tone meant he was not getting out of whatever discussion was about to be forced upon him.

“Anna, please, let's just go home.” He had begged, like the child he was. 

“Castiel, we can take some sort of legal action, or- or” She talked fast. Trying to get all her words out before he could cut her off. He had just laughed.

“What legal actions?” He asked, his voice sounded broken through his amusement. Anna frowned.

“What Meg did was illegal.” She said firmly. Castiel scoffed, looking away.

“Even so,” he whispered. “There is no evidence of our exchange. She did not harm me. I'm fine.”

A legal action meant telling his dad. A legal action meant telling Meg's dad. A legal action meant the school could find out. A legal action meant that it had actually happened. A legal action was stupid, and made no since.

Anna looked like she was thinking about another fight against him.

“Cas, we have to tell d-” Castiel didn't even want to here it. It was inconsiderable.

“No. Anna, leave it alone. If I wanted something done about it, I would have done something. Don't tell dad. It doesn't matter. It happened, it's over. I'm fine. There's no reason to start something that doesn't need dealing with. It's not important.” Castiel huffed, walking over to his side of the car. 

“Castiel, YOU are important.” She said quickly, trying to get the words out to him before he could get in the car. He frowned at her from over the hood.

“Then respect me, and leave it be.” Was all he said before he slummed into the car, ignoring Anna for the car ride. 

He knew he had texts, but they didn't seem to matter. He glanced down at the screen.

He scrolled down the list.

\--  
Incoming Texts:  
Dean  
Dean  
Dean  
Dean  
Dean  
Meg  
–

Castiel's heart stopped. He glanced to Anna, still driving, pulling into a restaurant drive thru to get them some snack before they got home.

He opened the one from Meg.

“Call ur attack dog off. I dont have time to be dealing with dean, castiel. Fuck off. I get ur mad at me. But ur just being a pussy. Grow the fuck up, dont go crying every time sumthing doesnt go ur way.”

Castiel wanted to throw his phone.

Now Dean had started too. He should have told Dean to let it be. He should have told Dean what he told Anna. 

He couldn't bring himself to open the texts from Dean. He silently nibbled on the fries that his sister bought him, he just wanted a distraction. He just wanted to forget. He was fine, but then Dean had to come and make it worse. Dean had to force him into what he didn't want to do. He didn't want to tell anyone. He wanted to ignore it. It didn't matter. Why were they making such a big deal out of such a tiny matter?

–

Castiel lay in his bed. 

His phone was on the end table next to him. His book bag was beside him. He couldn't seem to bring himself to pull out any of his homework or to open those texts. A few more had come in, he ignored them too.

He rolled to his side, curling in on himself. He didn't want to be thinking. His mind wild with all the possible out comes. He knew Anna probably wouldn't be able to keep this to herself. Dean probably wouldn't be able to either. 

Why couldn't they mind their own business? 

Castiel felt his eyes getting heavy. He was so tired. He hardly slept at night, his thoughts keeping him awake or creating suffocating dreams that awoke him. What would it matter if he fell asleep now?

–

When he his eyes drifted back open, his room had grown significantly darker. He must have been a sleep for a while. 

When Castiel moved to sit up, he was mortified. This had happened a few times, since the 'event.  
He was hard. He hated that feeling now. That was a feeling that he used to be able to quickly get rid of, a feeling that came in the mornings. 

Now it seemed tainted. It seemed wrong.

Castiel tried to will it away, but nothing was working. He tried to aim his thoughts toward something else. His little brother, his big brother, the dog they had when he was a child.

Anything that would hopefully calm his arousal down. He was then just grossed out, because it wouldn't go way and he was thinking about his siblings. He tried thinking about the grossest things he had ever seen, but that was a failed attempt too.

He sighed. He could do this. It was just jerking off. It really have no relevance to Meg at all. Castiel slid his hand down, into his pants. He took a large deep breath before he wrapped his hand around his hard and hot member. 

This was fine, he could do this. He was just taking care of a problem, nothing more. He firmed his grip and moved his hand in a tight stroke, and the air left him.

He could not do this. Castiel's erection wilted. The tight feeling, the arousal, the sickening pleasure, the hazy feeling, the fear. It all came back. It was too much. He could feel it. The weight of her over him. There was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't move, and she kept thrusting her hips. Even when he asked her to stop. 

And it felt good. Why did it feel good? It was so far from what he wanted. He told her before, he didn't want to have sex. He told Dean that. Dean said he didn't have to. Dean said... Dean said that if Meg cared she would have respected what he wanted. Castiel remembered, from that Friday when Dean sat across from him. 

Meg didn't care. She just took. And he was left with the horrifying and disgusting feeling afterwards.

Castiel pulled his hand away from himself, jumping from his bed over to the small bin by his door.

The contents of the small meal Anna bought him left his stomach. He was disgusting. He enjoyed it.

Tears streamed down his face and he returned to his bed, sitting on the edge. His face then went into his hands. He wanted it gone. The tight feeling. It was overbearing. There was nothing he could do about it. It was there, it was in him. It wasn't leaving.

Castiel's head snapped up when his phone dinged. He grabbed at it, he needed a distraction. He opened the texts.

Dean:  
talk to me.  
Im here for you Cas.  
If u need anything u know u can tell me, right?  
Cas, I tried to talk to meg. Is that ok?  
Did I make u mad?  
Damn plz dont be mad at me.  
I thought it would be helpful.

Castiel sighed. He wasn't mad at Dean. He was though, upset that he would go and talk to Meg. He already knew that though, from the previous text from Meg. He didn't quite know how that would be helpful, considering he hadn't really talked to Meg since that day in the mall. They had texted a few times, and Castiel had ended their relationship, telling Meg he was sorry but he just wasn't ready for the kind of relationship that she wanted. She had laughed in his face. 

After that, Castiel knew that he wouldn't be able to talk to her again in person.

Castiel:  
Please come pick me up.

That was all Castiel typed, glancing at his clock. It was close to midnight, but he didn't care, he needed out of this room.

He did care, though, about making Dean mad and waking him up. But he got a text back almost immediately saying that Dean was on his way. He must have already been awake.

Castiel couldn't help but smile. Dean was always such a good friend.

Castiel stood, grabbing a jacket from his closet. He moved quietly out of his room and down the stairs of his house. He was thankful that he knew where to step so that the steps would not creak.

He didn't know what his dad would do if he caught him sneaking out. He probably would just be really disappointed. Chuck Shurley wasn't scary. He never gave very good punishments (probably why Gabriel was okay with undermining the authorities) and Castiel figured his phone might just be taken along with a very lengthy, descriptive lecture Castiel couldn't be bothered to care about. 

Carefully, Castiel eased open the front door. He stepped outside, closing and locking the door behind himself. 

The cool air hit him, and he put on his jacket while walking to the side walk across the yard. 

He always got an intense happy feeling whenever he heard the impala. It usually meant something fun was about to happen. It meant Dean was picking him up, or driving him home. It mean that Dean was coming over or leaving after a good time.

It had been far too long since Castiel had heard it. 

The long black car skidded to a stop in front of him. He was happy to open the door and drop down next to Dean. He couldn't look at him though.

“I'm sorry, I didn't realize how late it was when I sent that text” he said under his breath, studying the hands that were now laying in his lap.

“It's fine, Cas. I told you I'm here for you.” Dean paused, but Castiel could feel there was more he wanted to say. He waited quietly for what ever it was. 

Dean started up the car, but didn't pull away. “You wanna talk about it?” He asked quietly, like he was afraid to.

Castiel finally took a quick glance up at Dean. He was wearing a worried expression. Castiel hated it.

Dean's face was far to beautiful to have that kind of look on it. It should be smiling, never frowning. It should be laughing. It should be happy.

But it wasn't. It was distressed. And it was all Castiel's fault. 

“There's nothing to talk about.” He replied shortly, once again looking down at his hands.

Dean cleared his throat, voice rough. “Can I see your arms?” 

Castiel's heart twisted in some way. That was the question Dean used to ask him every day during Freshmen year. He looked to see that Castiel hadn't gone to deep. He looked to see the healing process was going smoothly. He looked to see as the angry red marks slowly burned away into white lines across his wrist, and even the top side. Anywhere he could bleed.

Wordlessly, Castiel pulled both his sleeves up, presenting his arms to Dean. He turned them slowly, so Dean could see that there was nothing there but the shine of the scars. 

Dean let out a breath of relief. “Thanks.” He said, and then the car was moving as Castiel tugged down on his sleeves.

He felt like he was going to cry again. Dean was so worried about him. Worried enough to check. That was something he hadn't done in months. The last time Dean asked those five simple words was at the end of June. Castiel had last brought a cut to himself in at the end May, but Dean kept asking to make sure. He would ask every day while they were sitting in the car.

Dean cared so much. 

“If you don't wanna, you don't gotta. If it pisses her off then you know that she isn't the one. If she cared she'd want to wait for when you're comfortable.” Dean had said.

Dean knew how to care for someone. He had given Castiel that advice, in those exact words. Dean was so respectful of him, in ways Meg never was. 

Castiel just wished he knew how to repay Dean.

–

Now, Castiel sat in one of his favorite places in the world. It was a simple place, but one that never failed to put a smile on his face. 

He could feel Dean's eyes still on him. Of course they were. They always were.

“You want one?” Dean asked. Castiel turned his head slightly to look at Dean. He was holding up some sort of alcoholic beverage. Castiel's eyebrow furrowed.

“I kinda took it from my dad.” Dean told him, honestly, with a guilty look on his face.

Castiel thought about it. For awhile drugs were something he considered. Something recreational that would take his mind off of things. Now, they seemed outrageous. After what Meg did, he couldn't imagine it.

Alcohol was a little different. His father, like Dean's, drunk a lot. Dean's father became angry and violent when he was drunk, where as Castiel's just got sleepy and weird. Alcohol couldn't be too bad, could it? If his smart, respectable, responsible father drunk, why couldn't he give it a try?

“I suppose.” Was all he said, Dean looked a little surprised, but opened it and handed it to him.

It had a strong smell, and Castiel guessed that it probably had a strong taste too. He stared at the bottle for a moment, before he took a large gulp. He was not wrong. It had an incredibly strong taste. He thought he would cough it up, but he held it down.

“Careful, drinking like that will get you drunk super fast” Dean warned him, but Castiel frowned. He drunk more. He was intrigued by the taste, unsure of whether he like it or not. 

They sat again in more silence as the drunk. Castiel noticed that he seemed to be finishing his a lot quicker than Dean was. Castiel didn't really care though because he felt warm and giddy and happy.  
Dean looked like he was feeling the same way, but Castiel couldn't be too sure. 

“How are you not wasted yet?” Dean asked, eyeing Castiel's bottle with a large smile. He had drunk almost the entire thing, Dean had only drunk a small amount of his. 

“I don't know.”

Dean's face softened, and he exhaled.

“You need anything?” Dean questioned. 

Castiel squinted a little, before he registered what Dean said. What did he need? He felt like he needed some water, probably. He also kind of wanted to lay down.

“You.” the word escaped his mouth before he could stop it. 

Dean's eyes widened, as did Castiel's. He swallowed thickly, wanting to be somewhere else but unable to remove his eyes from Dean's.

“'M right here.” Dean stated, putting his arm up in between them. Castiel tilted his head, unsure of what to say next. 

Instead of saying anything, he slumped over under Dean's out stretched arm. His shoulder was tucked into Dean's armpit, his head on his chest. 

He wondered briefly if Dean was now uncomfortable, but that ceased to matter when Dean's arm wrapped around him and the warmth from the car, and from the alcohol, and from Dean made Castiel impossibly tired. 

“This okay?” He asked Dean. He felt his shoulder rise and fall. 

“'S fine, Cas. I got you.” Castiel closed his eyes as the words settled in. 

Dean did have him. Dean protected him and cared for him. Dean made it all better. 

Dean held him, and Castiel never wanted him to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many plans for this fic, I just don't know how I am going to play them out. With the way it is going, this might end up being a lot longer than I originally anticipated. Your suggestions and comments could help A LOT with this. I thank you for your continued support and comments. They make my life better which is something I really need right now. So, PLEASE comment!!


	9. To You Guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a note for you guys. I will be posting again soon.

I have not posted for a lot longer than I had hoped to. I'm so, so, so sorry. I picked the worst time in my life to start writing this story. I have reread it and am very disappointed in myself for the lack of quality I have provided you. I've been struggling a lot. My depression has worsened and I am struggling with self harm and anxiety. It is by no means easy. I can't keep my grades up. I have no motivation to do anything, even the things I want to do. 

One of the things I really want to do is write this fanfic. I have many plans for it and where I want it to go. From the comments I know a lot of you want this to keep going. I'm so tired of being a disappointment. I'm hoping maybe I can at least try to make it up to you guys. 

I just got a laptop, so typing will be easier. I'm hoping to continue this story soon. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait when I was promising weekly uploads. I don't know what to say, or if you really care. I just want to make it up. 

Please tell me if this story is one you would like to continue reading, as I would like to continue writing it and getting to the really good stuff. 

Thank you so very much for being patient with me. It means the world. I'm going to try and Always Keep Fighting. It's very difficult, but I want to try.


End file.
